It was
a friend who found me. I was drugged and
raped by three, maybe four guys. They
didn’t use condoms…I had my purse and rings stolen. I can’t call the police, there is no justice
for a person that breaks the law. I have
a few decisions to make…do I work while I wait the amount of time to take an
HIV test? Do I have an abortion if I’m
pregnant. Do I tell my parents? All of these things, because I can’t be
honest and legal about my part time job…because society thinks it is wrong, and
women’s groups think that I care about being objectified. I just want my degree, so I can get my career
started. My cousin makes $67,000 a year,
works two weeks a month, and can look any of her customers and neighbors in the
eye as a member of her community. I hide
in shadows and feel ashamed that I was brutalized, robbed and it’s somehow my
fault. Society’s rules have
consequences…and I am them.
I’m an
eighteen year old black kid in Memphis.
My father died when I was four, my mother is in prison for selling
drugs. I help my grandmother raise my
younger brother and sister. She is on
Social Security and we get some help from food stamps and housing
assistance…but shoes and bus fare, along with school books and my community
college courses cost money. My mom’s ex-boyfriend
grows marijuana in his basement. I make
some deliveries for him, and sometimes get a kickback when my friends buy from
him. I don’t like it, but there aren’t a
lot of opportunities in this economy. I
tell my grandmother I do “odd jobs” in the neighborhood, but I think she
knows…I know she knows…because she approached me this week. My grandmother has breast cancer, and I will
be taking care of her after her chemotherapy starts. My grandfather died of colon cancer, so we
know what this is going to be like. My
grandmother asked me for a joint, because she knows the pain and nausea she is
about to go through will make her so sick, she thinks I won’t be able to take
care of her and my siblings. She blames
herself for making me a criminal…but she isn’t doing anything wrong…she just
doesn’t want to suffer. I don’t blame
her. I got the joint from my mom’s ex-boyfriend…and
got stopped on the way home because I look like a guy that just robbed a
convenience store six blocks away.
Society has rules, and they have consequences…I am the unintended
consequences of our rules.
I am
white, male, and middle class. I work in
a warehouse for a company that sells packaging materials. I drive a forklift, work 50 hours a week, and
go to church every Sunday with my family.
I have two kids, my wife and I both drive American cars and we have an
autistic child. Most of my “extra”
income goes to my child’s day care for special needs children. He has Asperger’s syndrome, which makes him
difficult to talk with on good days…and impossible to reason with on bad
days. My boss called me into his office
today. He has to cut my hours to 29/week
and I am losing my health insurance and benefits because he has too many
employees working full time and is mandated by law to comply with the
Affordable Care Act. I begged him, I
even asked if I can stay full time and pay more from my paycheck to cover the
cost…but he is penalized for every employee that is full time that doesn’t get
the health insurance. My wife will need
to go find work…probably part time…then we will have to pay for our insurance
or be taxed under the new law. I was
making it work before, but now…now I need gov’t assistance? I used to have pride, but now I’m one of the
47%? What do I tell my friends at church
who will accuse me of being a drain on the system? My wife and I aren’t bad people, my kids
didn’t do anything to deserve this? My
boss said his alternative was to close and move to a different state with lower
costs…or outsource to China or India for our supply chain. Someone was bound to get screwed here, and it
turns out I am him. I am the unintended
consequences of America.
Please,
America, if you want to help…please stop making rules for society based on
emotion, feelings and good intentions.
This country was founded on principles…but those principles didn’t need
to be enforced, they were taught. We
have a military in all corners of the world, good people…with good intentions,
imposing their will and values at the end of a gun…or drone. We have police in the USA kicking down doors,
tazing women and beating drivers who don’t comply with their orders. We have politicians spewing hate and divisive
campaign slogans meant to demonize one party while holding the other up as the
only righteous way. We have community
leaders calling for war on a whole race/ethnicity. And then we wonder why some of our children
grow up and shoot a school full of children?
Every mother needs to know that her choices will have effects on her
child. Ever father needs to know that
every moment he spends with his child will have effects on his child. Every preacher at church needs to know that
his words will have an effect on his congregation. Our actions have consequences, and our
teachers need to know that what they teach our children will have an effect on
what the child grows up to be. This is
not a time to blame a video game…blame a parent who uses that video game to
entertain their kid for an evening. Do
not blame a gun, blame the parent who doesn’t lock it away when they have
children who are naturally curious. Do
not blame the color of clothes or a style of music, blame the glorification and
permissive attitudes of our communities toward our youth who emulate those
violent messages. It is time to take our lives back, and it isn’t
a law that will empower us to do this.
It is our actions and our efforts at home, at school and in our
lives. Be responsible…so that the
government doesn’t HAVE to be. Stop
using excuses. Be an American.
-REV